When is a Ticket not a Ticket? Part One

Kia ora, says Bright And Shiny Young Man (BASYM) at the Air New Zealand Premium Check-in desk

Kia ora, we reply in unison.

It’s 7am and we’re in good humour.

And how can I help you today ?

We’d like to take a flight please.

And where are you travelling today?

Singapore, via Christchurch we reply

And do you have your arrival card for Singapore?

We haven’t left New Zealand yet.

Ah, I need to see your Singapore Arrival Card before I can let you depart.

BASYM steps from behind Premium Check-in Desk to helpfully show us how to fill in the arrival card on our mobile phones revealing very nice buns tightly clad in Air NZ uniform.

Our morning is off to a bright start. We begin the process of on-line form filling while BASYM returns behind the desk and starts entering passport details into the system.

You purchased this ticket via a travel agency?

Correct

Your itinerary does not have a ticket number for this flight. say Bright and slightly less smiley young man.

Maybe BASYM’s bum wasn’t that pert afterall.

What do you mean? We booked our seats using the booking reference so there are seats on the plane allocated to us.

Yes, there are seats reserved in your name but I’m afraid there isn’t a ticket number, let me show you. I can see a ticket number for your flight from Christchurch to Singapore but there isn’t one for this segment

BASYM shows us a screen with enough numbers and letters to fill a telepone directory and then points to a space where apparently there should be a ticket number. Our names and reserved seat numbers are on the screen.

BASYM adopts a rather less Bright and Shiny counternance and becomes just YM.

Our good humour has disappeared, lost in bewilderment and confusion.

It’s 7:15am.

So just to recap; we have reserved seats on a flight from Auckland to Christchurch on an Air New Zealand Flight and you are telling us there isn’t a ticket number. What does that mean?

You will need to contact your travel agent to get them to re-issue a ticket.

Our travel agent is in Spain. It’s 7:15 pm on a Friday evening there. There won’t be anyone at the office. This is an Air New Zealand flight, we have a reservation on this flight so please just issue our boarding passes and we’ll be out of your way.

I cannot issue you with a boarding pass when you don’t have a ticket number.

So, can we please speak to your team leader?

I am the Team Leader says YM

So what should we do? It’s now 7:20 and the flight with our seats is departing at 8am.

I suggest you go to the ticket sales office and buy a ticket on the next flight as there are no other seats on the 8am flight.

But we don’t need to buy a new ticket; we already have seats on the 8am flight.

You have seats allocated but without a ticket number I cannot issue you with a boarding pass. I suggest you buy a ticket on the next flight.

Leslie goes to the ticket sales desk. Johnny continues a similtaneous conversation with YM and his sister in Spain who used to work for the travel agency that issued tickets.

Kia ora, says ticket seller , how can I help?

There’s been a mix up with our ticket and we need to get to Christchurch to get our connecting flight.

The 8am flight has already closed. The 9am flight is full but I could sell you a ticket on standby in case there are no shows. There is no guarantee.

And how much will that cost for a flight that we might not get on when we already have seats on a flight that’s due to depart in 30 minutes. And will our luggage be included?

$543 but there is no guarantee you will get on the flight.

And if we get on the flight by standby what about our luggage?

There is no guarantee your luggage will get on the flight. What would you like me to do Sir?

There is no answer to that question.

Johnny has continued simultaneos discussions with his sister who has located our itnerary online and shows this to RYM (Robotic Young Man). RYM says that ticket number has expired due to an alteration made by the travel agency.

We explain to RYM that some months before our departure AirNZ cancelled the 8:30am flight we were originally booked on and placed us on the 9am flight. We were concerned about the connection in Christchurch and asked to be put on the 8am and that was when we reserved our seats.

Leslie reports that the 9am flight is full and there is only standby tickets available.

It is now 8am and we point out the irony of a flight departing with our two empty seats.

RYM says he will see what he can work out and disappears with our passports. There is a 15 minute lull in proceedings before RYM returns with a quizzical smile.

I can get you on the 10am flight to Christchurch. That means you will arrive at Christchurch at 11:30. It’s a tight schedule for the transfer and if there are any delays you might not be able to board your Singapore Airlines flight departing at 12 noon.

And if we make the transfer, will our luggage?

Definitely not.

We can’t send luggage unaccompanied.

How do they cope with sending on lost luggage but let’s not spend time with that discussion. It is now 8:15am

Why don’t we see if someone on the 9am flight will be prepared to take the later flight.?

There is no 9am flight.

Pardon?

There is no 9am flight.

But your colleague at ticket sales tried to sell me a standby ticket on the 9am flight.

YM ignores this and disappears into his office with our passports.

We must have imagined his pert buttocks and not noticed his red horns and tail earlier.

So I have a solution, says YM returning with a beaming smile.

We like a solution. What is it?

There is an Air NZ flight direct from Auckland to Singapore that leaves at 11am. I can get you on that but it will be in economy rather than premium economy.

But we booked premium economy and have the extra luggage. By the way, what is your name?

My name is Shygal and the luggage won’t be a problem. Unfortunately Premium Economy is full but I can put you in a skycouch. I would advise you to take it.

here is something almost seductively suggestive about the way our new best friend Shygal says “skycouch”.

OK, we’ll take it.

Good, I’ll just go and issue the boarding pass. You owe me chocolates.

We notice Shygal has rather cute buns after all as we head for the chocolate counter whilst he issues tickets.

We walk the 15 minutes to the International terminal directly outside the hotel we had vacated several hours ealier.

We will see if there are any “no shows” in premium economy, but at least we have a “sky couch”.

Any vacancies in Premium economies? Any ‘no shows”?

No, it’s full I’m afraid. But I can see you have a Skycouch!

We board the plane and walk the walk of shame to the rear.

We find our three narrow seats which are more crammed and less padded than one would expect on a 10.5 hour flight. There are pillows and blankets and a rather interesting bag containing some belts labelled “adult loop belt” and “cuddle belt.”

Kia ora, my name is Marissa and I’m here to help you with your sky couch (- all said with a knowing smile. ) And have you flown in a skycouch before?

No. This is a new experience, we’re supposed to be in premium economy.

Of course, well I’ll be back after take-off to help you.

There are diagrams of couples spooning across the three seats in the seatback pockets “which must be stored in their upright position ready for take off”. Maybe this accounts for the whispered tones with which “skycouch’ was referred to earlier.

The flight departs smoothly and Marissa returns to demonstrate how the foot rest raises to fill the entire leg space so that we now have a futon style platform on which she places a thin mattress topper.

Any attempt at spooning is futile; a ladle and a spatula would make better companions. Having attempted every position in the karma sutra plus one we end sitting bolt upright.

We also discovered that this seating is favoured by families so we were sourrounded by children who filled their time by banging the seat tray against our backs.

Arrival at Singapore was swift and easy and we were reacquainted with our luggage swftly and effortlessly.

Phew! our troubles were over … well that’s what we thought.